O Maior Parvalhão no Universo

Vejam este episódio de South Park.
John Edward utiliza os mesmos truques, técnicas, e razões dos astrólogos, videntes, cartomantes, psíquicos, bruxos, etc. A única diferença é que ele afirma que fala com os mortos.

O episódio é genial.
Podem ver todo o episódio, indo aqui, e clicando em baixo onde diz “Watch this full episode”.
Recomendo vivamente que o façam!

Podem ler todo o “script”, aqui.
Algumas conversas bastante informativas durante o episódio:

Stan: All I need you to do is just talk to him and tell him, you know, the whole talking to dead people isn’t for real.
John Edward: Maybe it is for real.
Stan: Right, but it’s not. It’s a trick you do and I need you to just let my friend Kyle know that so he can go on with his life.
John Edward: Look, people have the right to be skeptical. I really hear voices in my head.
Stan: Yes. We all hear voices in our heads. It’s called “intuition.” Get over yourself and tell my friend it’s just for fun.
John Edward: Look, what I do doesn’t hurt anybody. I give people closure and help them cope with life.
Stan: No, you give them false hope and a belief in something that isn’t real.
John Edward: But I’m a psychic.
Stan: No dude, you’re a douche.
John Edward: I’m not a douche! What if I really believe that dead people talk to me?
Stan: Then you’re a stupid douche.
Kyle: He’s not a douche! He talked to my grandma!
Stan: Kyle, you can’t ruin your life based on what some douchey psychic said. They all just use a technique called “cold reading.” They’ve used it for hundreds of years to make people believe them.
Stan: Okay, I’m gonna pretend that a dead person is talking to me about you, okay?
Woman 4: Okay.
Stan: Okay, watch, Kyle. Uh, it’s an older man, someone very close to you.
Woman 4: My father?
Stan: Does this month, November, hold a special significance?
Woman 4: [gasps] My birthday’s in November!
Stan: Right, because he’s saying, “Tell her ‘Happy Brithday.'”
Woman 4: Oh my God.
Stan: See, Kyle? I just started with something really vague. I chose an older man because I’m betting that, based on this woman’s age, her father is most likely dead. But if her father wasn’t dead, I could still say it was some other older man.
Man 2: Well then how’d you know her birthday was in November?
Stan: I didn’t. I just asked her if November meant anything. Her father could have died in November, or Thanksgiving could have been really special for them. But I go with the birthday and validate it now, as if I knew, by saying “He wishes you a Happy Birthday.”
Woman 4: [gasps] What else does he say?
Stan: Okay, I’ll just use an old standard. He saying “the money. Stop worrying about the money.”
Woman 4: [gasps] Oh my God! My sister and I have been fighting over his inheritance.
Woman 3: That’s amazing.
Stan: No it isn’t! When a father dies, inheritance is usually an issue, and money is something everyone worries about.
Stan: Okay, listen to me. Listen very carefully. This is a trick that I am doing. Okay? Watch. All I’m gonna do is say a name that I’m gonna pick at random. Okay? [puts his hand to his temple] They want me to acknowledge Pete, or Peter.
Woman 5: [jumps up] Yes! Yes, my Peter! [begins to sob]
Audience: Wow!! [begins to clap]
Stan: No! Stop clapping! All I did was pick a random name and wait for somebody in the audience to give a response. Now that I see that there’s a lone woman crying, my instinct tells me Peter was her husband. So I say, “Peter was your husband?”
Woman 5: [sobbing] Yes, yes! Yes, my husband Peter!
Audience: Wow!! [begins to clap]
Stan: [getting annoyed] Stop it! I didn’t do anything!
Man 9: [rises and accuses] You knew Peter was dead!
Stan: [reminding] I didn’t start by saying Peter is dead! I started by saying, “They want me to acknowledge Peter.” That could have meant Peter was in the audience or that Peter was somebody’s friend, or Peter had died. I couldn’t be wrong, see? Now, I can look at this woman and see that she’s fairly young, so odds are her husband was fairly young when he died. So I can say something like, “I’m getting that Peter’s death was very untimely”
Woman 6: [sobbing] Yes, it was.
Audience: Wow!! [begins to clap]
Stan: [frustrated]
Stan: I’m saying this to you, John Edward, you are a liar, you are a fake, and you are the biggest douche ever!
John Edward: Everything I tell people is positive and gives them hope! How does that make me a douche?!
Stan: Because the big questions in life are tough: Why are we here? Where are we from? Where are we going? But if people believe in asshole douchey liars like you, we’re never gonna find the real answer to those questions. You aren’t just lying, you’re slowing down the progress of all mankind, you douche!
John Edward: But I do have a special power! I know I do!
Stan: There’s nothing special about you, dude. Get over yourself.
John Edward: God-damnit, I’m special!!
Stan: You see, I learned something today. At first I thought you were all stupid, listening to this douche’s advice, but now I understand that you’re all here because you’re scared. You’re scared of death and he offers you some kind of understanding. You all want to believe in it so much, I know you do. You find comfort in the thought that your loved ones are floating around trying to talk to you, but think about it: Is that really what you want? To just be floating around after you die, having to talk to this asshole? We need to recognize this stuff for what it is: magic tricks. Because whatever’s really going on in life and in death is much more amazing than this douche.

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    • Carlos Oliveira on 27/07/2010 at 06:20
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